27 wks n 1 day check up

Today we went for our 27wk ultrasound scan. It's the 3rd time seeing my gynae this mth; the previous 2 times were for my UTI... Today was a thoroughly progress check on baby. I was in the scanning room for quite a while. N baby wasn't veri cooperative today. She jus refuse to let us get a proper look at her. Bummer... But at least we noe she's growing accordingly n my gynae is veri happy wif her progress. In a sense whr she's growing steadily despite me falling sick quite a bit n nt eating much. N even the imaging technician tt always sees me says she's realli active. 

But thrs always a but. My placenta is veri low. Tt I already noe. But wat was said to me next jus literally crushed me n caused me to get an anxiety attack. My cervix has dilated. Which means I'm at a high risk of giving birth to a premature baby. Somehw my world literally came crashing down for a while when I was in the room. I held my tears back. I noe I've been saying hw much I want this pregnancy to be over. But nt like this when she's nt ready to be born yet! She's onli 27wks old n weighing at 860g onli!! My gynae is a veri optimistic person. He says tt IF she would be born anytime soon... She's at a weight whr she can survive n all. But of course tts nt wat we want. We wanna keep her in as long as possible. 

So rite nw I'm so paranoid. Every cramp stresses me out cuz it could be a contraction which I'm nt aware abt. I hav to watch myself closely n noe when I might be getting contractions n quickly rush to the hospital. When I sneeze I get so scared she suddenly slides out. I can't walk or do much physical activities. Sighhh worse part thrs nth much I can do to prevent an early birth cuz it's my uterus at fault. Nw we can onli pray we can keep her in at least till 35wks tts my aim but best if she can wait till 37wks cuz tts full term. 

I started googling abt preterm babies n their problems n scared myself like mad. Then I jus kept crying n crying cuz tts nt the life I want her to hav. Like I see more negative effects of a pretermed baby than positive. N I jus feel so helpless. 

I'm thankful my husband is nt worried at all. Whenever I'm stressed or worried over our baby... My husband has always been so optimistic n always so encouraging. He jus keeps telling me "she's a strong baby n she will wait." 

 

My dearest princess... 

Hold up in thr okay n take ur time to come out. Mummy has been suffering while carrying u but all I want is for u to be healthy n strong. We want u inside me long enough for ur organs to be strong so u can fight this world when u come out. So be patient cuz u hav plenty of time on this earth to do watever u want. For nw jus stay as long as u can in my belly. We love u so much. 

Pls keep us in ur prayers. All we want is a healthy strong full term baby.