Day 3

Less than 7hours to go till his surgery. Hes protesting his hunger by screaming again and coaxing him takes a while. Im beyond cranky and tired. And im up pumping now.

After his surgery he will be moved to the high dependency ward which we cant stay (theres no proper bed) so at least for the next couple of days i get to rest again. I really cant do such hospital stays already. I hate staying at hospitals now. I used to not mind it (i dont know why) but i guess in these recent years ive become a frequent stayer its getting annoying.

Im nervous, exhausted and emotional. I cradle L and tears roll down my face. Sigh the 3-4hours during his surgery is going to be agonising. Being a mother in such circumstances is not nice. 

Day 1 and 2 of L's admission

It was a mad morning. Both kiddies woke up at 6am n refuse to go back to sleep. So sean n i were up by then. Got ready n headed to the hospital for L's admission. Hes in for his minor/major surgery to correct his rectum problem.

Its been a very tiring day. Thankfully i managed to nap with L in his cot. And im missing G like mad! I need that funny clown to make me laugh my anxiety away.

Being a parent when your child needs to go for a procedure is not fun at all. Had the worse night ever where i got so upset he had to completely stop milk and only given glucose water. He was so hungry and angry he screamed the whole ward down. I really wanted to give him my boob but i know i cant since he has a minor procedure to insert an iv line.

Hes now having the line inserted. Anxiety level check: mild. Cause its minor and he was sleeping so soundly when i handed him over to the nurse. But tomorrow, hes first on the list for surgery and its a major op. I get teary just thinking about it and my anxiety sky rockets. Sigh.. Praying this would be the last!!!