Day 3

Less than 7hours to go till his surgery. Hes protesting his hunger by screaming again and coaxing him takes a while. Im beyond cranky and tired. And im up pumping now.

After his surgery he will be moved to the high dependency ward which we cant stay (theres no proper bed) so at least for the next couple of days i get to rest again. I really cant do such hospital stays already. I hate staying at hospitals now. I used to not mind it (i dont know why) but i guess in these recent years ive become a frequent stayer its getting annoying.

Im nervous, exhausted and emotional. I cradle L and tears roll down my face. Sigh the 3-4hours during his surgery is going to be agonising. Being a mother in such circumstances is not nice.