This pic basically sums up my mood today. "Leave me alone pls". Even my daughter noes hw mummy is feeling.
Feeling super hormonal today. I can jus burst into tears suddenly or feel super pissy n grumpy abt every lil small thing. Of course seeing my precious lil angel makes me feel better but today I had moments of sadness when I saw her.
Every parent upon delivering their child gets to hold, smell n kiss their precious angel. I was knocked out completely n I didn't even hav a chance to hold her. I was like 1 of the last few people to actually see her. It jus dawned on me hw miserable this feeling is; nt being able to hold ur own baby. Esp for me since my pregnancy wasn't easy at all. All I dreamed abt n wat kept me gg is the moment when I get to finally hold my child in my arms. It's been 2 wks n all I've done is touch her. I can't get close to her cuz she's in a box. I feel so fail as a parent.
But then again... Technically she's nt even out yet. If she had stayed in my belly like most babies do n reached full term... She would be 31wks n 5 days which meant I would hav another 8 wks n 2 days to even see her.
N most preemie parents wait abt a mth be4 they hold their baby (kangaroo them). I guess today I'm jus feeling super down n running out of patience. Like I want so badly to hold her, take her home, kiss her n be by her side 24/7.
Hopefully it's another 4 wks till she needs to stay at the hospital. She's 1260g today, an increase of 45g frm yesterday. So I onli pray her weight increases drastically n she can breathe independently.
"The best things are worth the wait."
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