Letters to my lil shrimp

Dear Lil shrimp,

Yes mummy n daddy have decided to nickname you as such cause daddy loves his hobby (u will find out soon enough when u are born) n the baby app did say when we found out about u, u were the size of a Lil shrimp. So how fitting!

Firstly mummy wants to apologize to u. I've been feeling all this negativity and uncertainty over u for the past few days and weren't really embracing everything. Its all due to shock and the trauma your sister gave me and everything still scares me as it was just about a year ago that I had her. All my feelings and trauma are still so raw. And I was so afraid on how your grand parents will react. Mummy doesn't have a job for now. So financially daddy n partially your grand parents have to pay. So having a second child just doesn't make any sense and it is worrying. That was my biggest worry cause I don't ever want you to have anything lesser than your sister. But daddy reassured me that he will take care of finances and we are okay. I trust him so that lessened one of my worries. But this would definitely be the ultimate worry of your grand parents (being realistic and all).

I told your grandma and she didn't take it too well either. She said everything is so fast. Her biggest worry is like daddy, will my body be able to take it since I haven't rested long enough and also my medical condition complicated things even more. I was honest and decided to let her know the first cause I needed someone to confide in about all this negativity that I shouldn't be having. But she didn't help much. Its the shock too honestly. But know that she reacted the same way as when I told her about your sister. But don't you worry cause your grandparents and family will love you just as much. Trust me when I say they love your sister so much given the circumstances. So I'm dam sure they will love you just as much too!

Finally today I confided in some mummies I met in an online community. All of them have given me some wise and kind words of encouragement letting me know I am not alone and will always have support. And I was watching the last episode of greys anatomy where I saw the image of a newborn baby being wheeled to see his badly injured father. At that moment I felt that instant spark of connection with you. I don't know how to describe it but the surge of happiness and love came rushing into me.

Forgive me for a took a few days but I am embracing you. I pray for good health and good growth for you my Lil shrimp. Together we will work hard to keep you inside me long enough. I don't ever want you to suffer and be apart from us like your sister did for 2 months. It was agonizing for all of us. So be well my child!

I am now a proud mummy of 2. I really can't wait to meet you (but as I said stay longer inside please).

PS... My mummy instinct tells me you are a boy. Hmmm

I love you even before you are born. And always remember that both you and your sister are very special to mummy and daddy.

Bake well!

Love,
Mummy