So we woke up late n headed to the hospital earlier than usual to spend more time wif our princess. When we got thr the nurse asked me "do u wanna do skin to skin wif ur baby?" In other words meaning kangaroo care. The words I've been dying to hear since day 1! I was so excited! Skin to skin is veri impt esp for preemies. It nt onli helps them recognize their mummy's scent, find comfort in them but also helps in regulating their breathing which is still a difficult task for baby gwyn. She still has an oxygen mask which aids in her breathing but set at the lowest setting. So we are praying she gets off the oxygen soon n she will be able to breathe independently.
Rooing her was so amazing. I jus felt super close to her nt onli physically (since she's plastered on my chest) but emotionally too.
For the past few wks I havnt realli felt like a true mother. Yes I'm aware I gave birth n hav a baby n am a mother but it's jus nt the same as normal mothers. Cuz all I could do was look at her through a box n touch her. I can't carry her to soothe her when she cries.. I can't smell my own baby... Heck I can't even carry her full stop. I guess tts y I hav meltdowns n some nites are worse. On days when I hav a "good" day wif gwyn (like I carry her or help soothe her when she cries) I don't get my meltdowns n vice versa.
Today was jus amazing. I was telling my husband hw I'm nv letting gwyn out of my sight or letting her go. She was so peaceful while lying on my chest. She slept through the whole 2hrs n be4 tt she was fussing n being all grumpy but once on my chest she was jus peaceful n calm.
She nw weighs 1470g too!! Yay another 30g n out of the box she goes! I hav learnt nt to expect much wif her weight gain but my husband n I decided to put a guess to her weight today be4 we went to see her. She totally proved me wrong n put on so much frm Tuesday. Proud mummy moment
Time for bed. Today's a gd day. So no meltdowns for this preemie mummy!
It really sounds like you have PPD, which is very normal for us NICU parents. Your Dr can give you some meds for that, I was on them for a little over a year after Christopher was born. You can still breastfeed on them :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the progress! I am loving watching her on Instagram (I'm SouthernFrog ��).
Being upset about the other healthy baby is normal for us too. My cousin had a healthy little girl who was born a month and a half after Christopher but was supposed to be a month and a half before him... It is still hard not to compare them and sometimes it still upsets me. It is ok to get upset.