32wks n 4days/2wks n 6 days old: transparency

I started blogging at the age of 11 n continued blogging till I was 16? N then I stopped. Blogging in the past has gotten me in "trouble" n ruined my relationships. Tt was Becuz I literally blogged abt everything even frm the most minute details like wat I ate -.- tt was me documenting my whole everyday life. I rmb Sundays were the most interesting posts cuz I went to church. I read back my old blog n had such a gd laugh cuz everything was so detailed it was literally playing in my head n I was reliving those moments tt happened some 9yrs ago! I wrote abt my skool days, friends, relationships, heartbreaks (which were so emo it was honestly depressing reading them again), family n occasions. Teenager me owned a blog to journal my life which was made public for the world. Then, social media was slowly climbing up. 

This is y I blog. I document my life n wanna look back n rmb every detail as I can. Y I chose to make it public is so people (who may be like me or in situations like me) can learn frm my experiences. This is y many people blog these days. 

When I found out gwyn was gg to be a preemie... I quickly searched for blogs which mothers wrote abt their experiences wif a preemie cuz I had no clue wat to expect! I def felt some sense of support frm these mothers which I hope through this place I would be able to be tt support for other preemie/young mothers too. 

I've always been an open book n hence had my fair share of haters back in the day. But I'm nt afraid to be judged cuz this is my life n I chose to be public abt it n I hav to accept the consequences tt comes wif it (although I realli see no harm in watever I've written so fair). I don't blog abt controversial topics. Watever I blog is my personal experience, my journey, my point of view. 

We live in a world where social media is taking over our lives. Everything is made available online. N most people who blog these days are all transparent abt their lives. N also blogging is a sense of outlet for me. Old skool journals jus hardly exist anymore cuz we simply live in an Internet era whr typing is jus so much easier. 

Frm the veri beginning of my pregnancy journey I hav decided to document it through a blog. I even wanted to do videos but i was lazy n it was too much of a hassle. I was transparent frm the beginning (Though I kept my pregnancy a secret until a few wks be4 my wedding). No I wasn't afraid to be judged abt the mistake I/we made. In fact we were so happy to even be pregnant n was dying to let people noe. At tt time I jus felt it was time to share our happy news to the world n I've been receiving nth but well wishes eversince then till nw when baby gwyn is out of me. I'm nt afraid of people saying "OMG shar got pregnant be4 she got married." Cuz in my case it's nt as if I got pregnant by a douche. It was my bf n love of my life for 4yrs. 

So I'm jus sharing my life n thots wif everyone as if u guys who actually bother reading this space are walking my life wif me. N since I havnt gotten out much or met any of my frens in a while, this space is also for them to keep track n get updates abt me n my family. 

I thank everyone for the huge amt of well wishes, prayers n support we hav gotten ever since the start of our pregnancy journey. It's nt an easy journey being a mother of a preemie. The constant fear n separation anxiety is realli taking a toll on me. The onli reason y I havnt fallen into PND (post natal depression) is cuz of my husband, family n support I get frm preemie mothers on Instagram. This is y social media is so impt to me. The advices n experiences we get frm people who hav experienced or are experiencing the same trials n pains as us are so helpful. It makes us feel we aren't alone n people actually understand our situation. 

Baby gwyn is 3wks old tmr! Seems to fast but yet slow at the same time. I've been having my meltdowns every nite recently. Sigh hope it gets better somehow.