Our journey as parents : A woman, wife and mother

I came across this comment by a mummy on fb and that inspired me to write about this topic...

Carrying a life for 10months is no easy job. Its back breaking (literally) and your hormones get all weird and funny. You bloat up like a puffer fish and it's really not that glamorous (lucky for me I wasn't THAT puffy). Most days you just wanna stay in your pjs, not shower and have the messiest hair ever. And if you think you can go back to being glam again after you give birth think again!

Next you battle with sleep deprivation, spit ups on all your shirts, you smell like breast milk on most days, you don't have time to shower or even if you shower you off the tap every few seconds to check if baby is crying or if you are just hallucinating. You don't even have time to upkeep your personal hygiene less dress up and slap make up on your face. So of course you don't feel sexy or glamorous at all. In your eyes you look like a total mess! Why would you even want to be intimate with your husband or have the energy to wanna get sexy in bed?

Some mummies feel guilty or feel that they fail as a wife (I feel like this too). Yes it's totally normal to feel that way. Cause really all your energy and time is devoted to your newborn. But that doesn't mean you should totally neglect your husband.

Some mummies would feel that with a newborn they are a mother first then wife next. Some feel they are a wife first then mother next. Whatever the case is, you are a woman, wife and mother all at the same time. You need to have a fair share of all 3 responsibilities and job roles.

Just for a few hours, pick out a nice outfit, slap on some make up and go for tea with the girls or just roam around shopping malls on your own. For me I go for a weekly massage with my mummy leaving baby G at home with daddy. That's my way of spending some ME time. And once a month my mummy and I would go do our nails together too leaving baby g in the hands of my mother in law. when we do go out as a couple or family, I still do dress up and put on make up. Trust me a nice pretty outfit and make up goes a long way! It boosts your confidence as a woman and mother. Hey who says mothers can't look sexy and pretty!?

My husband and I do go out alone every week for a few hours. Even if it's just going to our nearby neighborhood mall for a simple dinner in our slacks, that's spending quality time together as a married couple. We are lucky and thankful we have so much help from our mothers that's why we can afford to go out so much. But another problem I see is most new mums can't bear to leave their newborn. To me that's not very healthy. You need your ME time or time as a wife and husband. I guess for us the hospital "trained" us. Since baby G was at the hospital for such a long time, we had the "training" to be able to walk away from our newborn. It's not easy I tell you but once you learn to leave your newborn at home, it gets easier. You really need that few hours away for yourself.

So my tips for new mummies:

1) learn to leave baby in the care of someone else

2) slap on make up and put on a pretty outfit and have your ME time

3) or run a nice hot bubble bath and relax! (Or do something you love!)

4) have time away from baby and spend time as a couple (even if you don't go out, cook a nice meal, have a long conversation over the meal, rent a movie and cuddle up!)

5) COMMUNICATE! (I can't stress how important this is to maintain a healthy and successful marriage! If you don't wanna get intimate then voice out and explain why)

To the husbands:

1) plan a date night at least once a week without baby

2) complement your wife still even when she's in a pjs and has spit ups all over her shirt

3) understand that being intimate with your wife is not a priority of hers for now (you have to understand that we women went through drastic changes in our bodies to give birth to this amazing life. And breast feeding does put a halt on our "sexy" hormones (we just don't feel like doing it).

4) be patient and give us our time to recuperate from birth (it can take months but I'm sure when that time comes it's worth the wait!! *wink wink nudge nudge*)

These were the days where we left baby G at home and went out. Havnt been taking much pics of late cause we have been hanging out at our neighbor malls on our slacks and totally unglam! Haha