I have been following both youtubers AprilAthena and Bubzbeauty for quite a while. And when I found out they were pregnant I was estactic cause finally I can watch them and go "ah OMG totally understand how you feel man!" Cause I was pregnant around the same time as them as well. And fun fact baby G was born 5 days before April's Liam when she was due in June. I just watched bubzbeauty's vlog on her newborn and couldn't help but tear and totally understood how she felt when she had to leave her baby Issac in the hospital for an extra day/not being able to have your baby by your side after delivering. Likewise for me, I couldn't see baby G on the day I delivered and I was jealous and so upset that I couldn't have my baby by my side. And when I saw her through the incubator my heart ached so much.
I had to walk away from the hospital for 2months and a bit without my baby. It was devastating and so hard. Yes it got easier but as I constantly reflect on our journey I always ask myself "how the hell did I get through those months!!?" Cause it was excruciating.
Even up to now I marvel at how far she has come for a tiny being. Honestly I still marvel at the fact that I actually carried this lil warrior in my belly for 7months. I still find it unbelievable that she's even out!! Like I can actually hold her. Sometimes when I look at her I need to touch her a few more times to make sure she is real!
A couple of days ago I actually woke up and when I saw my husband carry her, I thought I was still in a dream in my sleep. Like "what I gave birth to such an amazing being!!?" So yea it has been 4months and it hasn't sunk in DEEP within my brain that I have a daughter, we went through such a trying but amazing journey as a family and that she's home in my arms.
Some mummies get "sick" of being with their child (those stay at home mums) 24/7 but for me I enjoy every second of it! Though I'm not by her side all the time cause I have so much help from my mum and mil, I still know that I can just walk into the room where she is and give her a lil kiss and go back to my "me" time.
Then jus today my husband and I went to buy diapers and we bought both size S and M (M is till 11kgs and she's 6kg now) my husband made a comment "soon we have to buy L already." The thought of her growing up so fast before our eyes just gave a lil pinch in my heart. But I'm also anticipating her toddling days!! I can totally imagine her wearing those pretty dresses she has and running around. Too cute I can dieeeeee.
My precious baby G, mummy and daddy has got so much love for you. We may not be perfect parents but I assure you we will do our best and give you the best. You have fought hard for your life and life will continue to get hard as you grow up. But always remember that mummy, daddy and your family will always stand by you and you are never alone. We love you and continue to be amazing our lil angel.
No comments:
Post a Comment