I bet most mums if not all can relate with me on this. When your child just has a crazy meltdown and no matter what you do nothing seems to calm the Lil bug down. You thought "hey OK I have boobs and boobs always comfort her. I shall shove them into her mouth and pray she keeps quiet." But no for some reason she didn't want her usual source of comfort. When even your boobs fail you... You feel like the most fail mother on the planet. Then you try the normal methods like rocking... Carrying.. Bouncing.. Singing. Nothing works! Mind you G was doing balistic in the car where I obviously can't walk around right.
Then there comes my mother. Who stopped the car at the side of the road and swapped places with me. Once she carried G she immediately calmed down. Yay to no more screaming but at that moment my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. Like wad my daughter doesn't want her own mother to soothe her?! On the other hand I was thankful she could calm down with the help of my mum but yet as a mother you feel like a failure. I was actually quite upset with G at that point too. So imagine all these negativity and deflatedness I was feeling. I just wanted to rush home and surrender her to my husband.
Sean saw how exhausted and deflated I was like I lost a horrible war. Which in fact I did. He took G and asked her "why you make mummy so angry?" She smiled. Thing with babies now is they don't understand the different emotions we give them. They haven't learnt how to differentiate between anger or sadness. So they just simply laugh it off or smile. Which honestly can be annoying cause you just can't stay mad at them. Like how to when this Lil bug is smiling at you? I refuse to look or talk to G for a while. Until I was calm and the world felt like a better place then I picked her up and kissed her. And then I told sean "I need a job NOW!!"
I don't know if G is going through a phase. But she breaks out in such weird crazy moods and she is so hard to put to sleep! She crawls all over.. Pulls everything she can get her hands on. I'm so so exhausted but yet glad I'm not working now so I can deal with her.
As I'm typing this she is trying to dig my eyeballs out. Yeps this is my Lil active destructive monster I have now. Praying its a phase please so I can feel like a human again.
But really its a love hate relationship I have now being a sahm. I love being with my daughter but times when she's being a lil monster I wish I had a job which entails me being away from her for a good 8hours or more. But I know I will regret saying this when I actually have a job again. I guess as a mother or human you just can't be fully satisfied right?
Haiya but just look at how cute she is!! How to stay mad at you my sweet pea?
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