Levi's birth story...

Levi turned 8mths yesterday n only now im sharing his birth story haha! I actually wrote it in my phone but i changed phone n havnt found time to sit down and write again. So anyways on 1st dec 2015 (Tuesday), sean had to work late n because i didnt want to be alone at his place i got my sis to come pick me up to go back to woodlands. At that time my mum was in bkk. On 2nd dec (Wednesday), we intended to stay at woodlands for the week. G n i had our afternoon nap and when i woke up at 5pm, i felt my tummy tighten. My belly was so hard to the touch and i knew i was having contractions. U see with G's birth i never felt contractions and did not know what to feel or look out for. Thank u Google cause i knew tightening of belly was one of the signs. I quickly called sean crying cause i was in alot of pain. This time my hospital bag was packed already! I took a shower n sean picked G n i up and dropped G back at seletar cause my mum wasnt back from bkk yet. It was about 8.30pm by the time we got to the labour ward and my contractions were pretty regular every 2mins. I got hooked up onto the machines and every nurse who saw me said "finally going to pop huh!" i was 35weeks then. The anesthesiologist came in and spoke to me about epidural. I dont know if she read my records but i knew i wanted GA only. Then walks in my awesome gynae! "so today is the day huh!" by 9.30pm i got wheeled into the OT and even though I experienced being wheeled in alone without Sean before, i was still scared. I hated the parting. He kissed me and off i went. This time there were so many med students in the OT cause i was a good learning case for them haha! I remember being asked alot of questions, touching me every where and then this metal probe went down my throat. This was new i dont remember having this wif G. It hurt like hell btw! Gas mask over my mouth and off i drifted! (i do love the floaty GA feeling).

I woke up in recovery and my throat was so painful and dry. It was already 11.30pm by then and i was still in pain. The nurse asked me if i needed morphine lol of course i said yes! When can u ever get a drug for medical reasons?! Lol and i immediately felt floaty n dam high la! Lol. I was drifting in n out of sleep till i got wheeled to the ward. Because it was late, sean was upstairs seeing baby and the nurse was quick to come and squeeze out my colostrum. I was able to syringe out 1ml right after delivering!

By the next morning, physio came to make me get out of bed. I dreaded it la!! But by that very day i was walking around (still in pain) but i knew the drill la. Walk to recover faster. And sean came to get me to wheel me up to see my son. Still couldnt believe i have such a beautiful boy.

He was up at the high dependency ward. No breathing or lung issue. Just jaundice and that was when they discovered his poo problem (he didnt pass the meconium 24hrs after delivery). Anyways thats a story for another day!

He had to stay at the hospital for 19days due to his medical issue and all. So again i suffered the loss of going home without baby. And then it hit me hard that my PND was worse this time around. Maybe because i had more expectations of him. I suffered n carried him 6wks more than his sister but yet he had more medical issues (yes not related to preterm labour but still). He couldn't pass motion, his right eye couldnt open fully. I was so fixated on his imperfections at one point i was angry at my son (wtf). I kept wondering why me again? Why must i go through all this shit again!? And why is my son like that?! I was angry that he wasnt "perfect" looking. I was scared of what people would say about his eye or whether he would get bullied. It took me a while to get over it (with the help of my husband). I still loved my son of course but his imperfections made me worry alot! N finally he came home but we had to go straight to kkh (which shall be a story for another day).

And now 8mths later (surgery, warded last mth) hes forever my happy boy! He wakes up every morning at 7am and is happily babbling away in his cot till i go n pick him up and he flashed the biggest smile ever! (: i always thought being a mother of 2 means splitting my energy, love n attention to 2. But no. I have more love and attention to give to both G n L