5mths and a day (corrected: 2mths and 21days)

Yesterday marked baby G's 5mths!! Can't believe how time is flying by!! From a tiny little fragile baby who had so many uncertainties to a strong Michelin like baby!! I'm still in awe how strong this little being is. She has brought so much happiness to our family and there's no other person in this world I will love more than baby G. 

Some have asked me when I will have baby number 2. But honestly having her was already a blessing itself and because of my medical condition no one knew if I could even conceive. So even if baby G is the only child I can have it's okay(: I'm more than happy and that way all my love and attention can be devoted to her. I always planned for 2 kids the most and I would wish to give her a sibling. But because I had such a difficult pregnancy and my gynae said I still have a 50/50 of not being able to carry the next baby to full term. So we shall seeeeee 

Milestones so far: 

-she's about to flip 

-she rotates in her sleep (she will be sleeping horizontally and when we wake up in the morning she's vertical) 

-she has no successfully latched on to both the right and left boob!! Yay(: 

-her head control is much stronger too 

-now she can go as long as 9hrs without milk. That means we are able to sleep through the night already! Yay(: 

-she's over 6kgs now 

-she's able to go to bed on her own (she used to need to be rocked to sleep or suck her pacifier but now she just makes noise but it tires her out and she will fall asleep) 

-she now smiles whenever she see you.. And she's super talkative!

Happy 5mths n a day my little princess! 

N here's a crying pitiful face. Hahaha too cute I can die!! 

30 things I will teach baby G

Saw this on Facebook '101 things I will teach my daughter' so I got inspired to write my own version! Listed 30 for now! 

1) Always be happy. 

2) Be yourself. Never let anyone change who you are. 

3) Be a better friend. 

4) It's okay if you don't have a lot of friends. But make sure you have at least one who you can lean on when times get rough. 

5) Its okay to binge on chocolates and ice-cream. 

6) When you are sad, it's okay to cry it out, eat a whole tub of ice-cream and sleep all day. 

7) Find a man who will still tell you how beautiful you are even with no make-up on and wearing sweats. 

8) We will have 'Sex and the City' marathon once in a while. You need to watch this as it teaches you about the importance of friendship. 

9) Have awesome girly sleepovers. 

10) Always respect your elders and be polite. 

11) The person you should love the most is yourself. 

12) Stand firm on what you believe. 

13) Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. 

14) Be humble. 

15) Be the best person you can be. 

16) Blast music in the car and sing at the top of your lungs. 

17) Go on a crazy shopping spree every once in a while. (With money you earn of course! Unless your mummy and daddy are feeling generous that day!) 

18) Never take things for granted. 

19) YOLO (you only live once) 

20) Laugh everyday. 

21) Remember that not everyone will think like you. 

22) Acknowledge and accept your flaws. 

23) It's okay to ask for help. 

24) Never live your life with regret. 

25) What's meant to be will be. 

26) Get a hobby. 

27) Always believe in yourself. 

28) Never forsake those in need. 

29) Give with a cheerful heart.

30) Know that your family especially mummy and daddy always got your back. You are never alone. 

Thoughts at 2.30am

-wide awake. Idk y 

-I've been eating like a glutton these past week!! Like my appetite is even bigger than my husband's!! OMG pls kill me 

-thankfully I'm not putting on the weight still. Gotta thank breastfeeding seriously! If not I can't imagine how puffy I would become from all this binge eating 

-like seriously I can eat a full meal but still munch on crap after (eg: chocolate is my GO TO.. Chips... Cake... Cookies (hahaha all starts with C) fruits... Bubble tea.. Bread OMG jus murder me seriously 

-my husband is being annoying. He's sleeping horizontally which means I can't straighten my legs 

-so I decided to put my legs horizontally too at his face (just picture how we are sleeping now. It's pretty hilarious and odd) 

-have been successfully latching baby G for the past week! So yay to us!! 

-n she finally managed to latch on the right boob too!! Double yay 

-my dog mochi is super funny. He got scolded by daddy today and he was so scared to come into the room and sleep. I had to carry him in and he won't dare come onto the bed too until daddy calls him. LOL 

-bullet is too in love with baby G seriously! He always has to check on her and get right up her face 

-have plans to head to town later but by the looks of it I'm going to be too tired and I would definitely wanna catch up on my sleep. So hmmm 

-I'm alreadying thinking about what I should eat for dinner later -.- see how pig like I am now!! 

-I found the most inspiring woman on Instagram just now. I really just wanna hug her if I could. She had difficulties getting pregnant and when she did she had twins. But she had complications and she lost one twin. She gave birth to the other baby at 23weeks and she weighed 480g!!! I have so much respect for this mother and daughter! 

-after reading such stories I always just wanna cuddle baby G immediately. (But not now since my 2 dogs are sleeping right next to me and we still havnt allowed them to sleep with her. Plus it's already warm enough in bed with these 2 furballs) 

-I really feel like kicking my husband in the face now. Haha 

-I should really sleep now 

-should I watch my Korean drama? (Ps I DO NOT watch Korean drama but decided to watch this one since it's about an autistic doctor. I still find Koreans rather vulgar and so rough in the way they speak) 

Ok bye.. 

Lightweight party at sgh 2014

On the 6th of sept we went to our first party at the hospital. It's a celebration for all these lil warriors which the hospital holds yearly. When I first got the invite I knew exactly what I wanted baby G to wear! It was an underwater themed party. And if you know me well enough I LOVE Ariel from little mermaid. So I hunted for a mermaid costume for baby G and that was what she wore (: 

It has been 3mths since she left the hospital and it was the first time she saw the nurses and doctors again. They had so much praises for her and all exclaimed how cute she was in her costume!!! She was declared "best dress" of the day by the team and she won the 3rd price in the lucky draw!! 

I've never won anything in my 22years of life. I wanted to resign to my sad fate when they were going to announce the top 3 prices. I thought "aiya I guess we have no luck". But bam they announced her name and I was doing my happy dance inside. Hahahahaha eh first time winning something okay!!! Of course I was a proud mama! LOL 

Some of the nurses carried her and "air swimmed" her. She was enjoying herself and kept smiling and squealing away! She was so poofed out by the end of the party and she slept through the night. 

One of my favorite family photos (:

And can you tell I was in Little mermaid Ariel's colour scheme! Haha 

I have such gratitude to the whole nicu team of sgh. I believe I can speak for my husband too. She was so well taken off during her 2mths stay at the hospital. When we couldn't be there with her 24/7 they were like her second mothers who loved her just as much as us. The way they care for these little warriors are amazing. They have so much love and dedication for these tiny beings. And they guided us so well as to how to care for her when she came home and especially since we were first time parents too. Thank you so much to the nicu team of sgh. No words can express our gratitude to you. 

*dam deleted the pics of the nurses off my phone. Check out my facebook to see the faces who cheered these little warriors on* 

Doors are opening

Yesterday i received good news. To others it may be so small, minute and doesn't mean anything but to me, a SAHM it's a small little stepping stone for me. 

And then this morning I woke up to another piece of good news. Well it's also a small step. Not something I really really want but it is a door that opened. Now I just have to pray that God will lead the way and if it's the way He wants me to go... He will guide and provide. Leaving it all in the hands of The Lord. He has watched over my family and I and I believe He will see me through my next step of my life. 

It's a bittersweet moment for me though. I always feel sad just thinking about it but I know it's a step I have to take eventually. Gonna keep praying for comfort and that I will find some joy and passion. 

Reflections Wednesday

I have been following both youtubers AprilAthena and Bubzbeauty for quite a while. And when I found out they were pregnant I was estactic cause finally I can watch them and go "ah OMG totally understand how you feel man!" Cause I was pregnant around the same time as them as well. And fun fact baby G was born 5 days before April's Liam when she was due in June. I just watched bubzbeauty's vlog on her newborn and couldn't help but tear and totally understood how she felt when she had to leave her baby Issac in the hospital for an extra day/not being able to have your baby by your side after delivering. Likewise for me, I couldn't see baby G on the day I delivered and I was jealous and so upset that I couldn't have my baby by my side. And when I saw her through the incubator my heart ached so much. 

I had to walk away from the hospital for 2months and a bit without my baby. It was devastating and so hard. Yes it got easier but as I constantly reflect on our journey I always ask myself "how the hell did I get through those months!!?" Cause it was excruciating. 

Even up to now I marvel at how far she has come for a tiny being. Honestly I still marvel at the fact that I actually carried this lil warrior in my belly for 7months. I still find it unbelievable that she's even out!! Like I can actually hold her. Sometimes when I look at her I need to touch her a few more times to make sure she is real! 

A couple of days ago I actually woke up and when I saw my husband carry her, I thought I was still in a dream in my sleep. Like "what I gave birth to such an amazing being!!?" So yea it has been 4months and it hasn't sunk in DEEP within my brain that I have a daughter, we went through such a trying but amazing journey as a family and that she's home in my arms. 

Some mummies get "sick" of being with their child (those stay at home mums) 24/7 but for me I enjoy every second of it! Though I'm not by her side all the time cause I have so much help from my mum and mil, I still know that I can just walk into the room where she is and give her a lil kiss and go back to my "me" time. 

Then jus today my husband and I went to buy diapers and we bought both size S and M (M is till 11kgs and she's 6kg now) my husband made a comment "soon we have to buy L already." The thought of her growing up so fast before our eyes just gave a lil pinch in my heart. But I'm also anticipating her toddling days!! I can totally imagine her wearing those pretty dresses she has and running around. Too cute I can dieeeeee. 

My precious baby G, mummy and daddy has got so much love for you. We may not be perfect parents but I assure you we will do our best and give you the best. You have fought hard for your life and life will continue to get hard as you grow up. But always remember that mummy, daddy and your family will always stand by you and you are never alone. We love you and continue to be amazing our lil angel. 

The EVIL devices

One of my major pet peeves as a parent now... Seeing kids glued to an electronic device (tablets and phones are the most common ones). What I find very outrageous are parents giving in to their whinning crying child. Or the child NEEDS an electronic device in front of them while they eat if not they won't eat. 

Eg: 

Child: I want to play with the iPad! 

Parent: no you need to eat finish first. 

*child starts crying and throwing tantrums*

Parent: aiya ok ok nah *hands iPad over* 

*child is happy and quiet* 

Parent: okay enough already I'm taking the iPad away 

Child: noooooo *starts crying and throwing tantrums* 

Parent: aiya okay fine another 10mins 

Why are parents/caregivers so weak these days? Why are they so easily manipulated by a crying and spoilt child? Put it blantly these parents are just lazy and in order to shut the crying child up they just shove them the iPad. Honestly it's because of such parents that these children become a terror when they are out in public. Cannot eat without the iPad and if there's no iPad they will be screaming embarrassing children in public.

All this bad habits all start from home; by weak parents/grandparents. What ever happened to the conventional way of entertaining kids at the table? We all grew up without iPads and all that evil electronic devices. I remember my mother used to pack our bags with coloring books and crayons for my sister and I. We often followed her around a lot when she went out with her friends. She could eat peacefully cause my sister and I were kept occupied with such simple tools and we were contented. So why can't we as parents who grew up with such simple tools pass this onto our children? 

My husband and I love to go to toys r us and even more fun now cause we walk through the aisles choosing what to buy for baby G when she's older. The sad thing is these toy stores are all empty now no thanks to these evil devices plaguing the minds of our children!!! Through toys like Barbie dolls, superhero figurines, toy kitchens, play doughs, that's when a child gets to tap into their creative mind and play through imaginative play which is so vital for a child's growth! A child who grows up behind a screen won't get to experience this form of play which would impend the growth of their brain (seriously I read many research papers on this during my days as a uni student studying psychology). 

So parents please please STOP being manipulated by your children and succumbing to technology! You are only doing more harm to your child. 

My husband and I are so strong and firm on not giving baby G any electronic device till she is at least 4 (my husband says 7 but since even kindergartens start introducing e-learning, we can't keep her in the "dungeon" for too long). But we definitely won't be letting her eat in front of the iPad or use it as a device to shut her up. Her bag pack will always have a coloring book, a set of crayons, a book and a doll whenever she goes out with us during her toddler years. 

All it takes is discipline... From the parents. 

I took this picture just the other day when I was watching a drama series on my laptop and left the room for a while. She was crying but as soon as she turned to the laptop and saw the image she kept quiet. I sent this picture to my husband and he went "oh no!" (But do look that there is a cloth book right next to her. I always read and sing to her which she enjoys a lot! I even spent about $100 on books for her. I'm traditional that way)