My breast feeding journey part 1

On the 19th of June I was given the first chance to breast feed baby gwyn since she's off the feeding tube n has been taking her bottles fully. So I was super excited when I found out I could try my hand at breast feeding cuz it's such a good bonding experience n it's like an experience for a mother. I was assisted by gwyn's speech therapist n one of my favorite nurses. 

Okay I always Thot breast feeding was dam easy. I mean how hard is it to shove ur nipple into a baby's mouth rite!? WRONG!! Baby gwyn has always taken veri well to te pacifier since the day we introduced it to her during her nicu days.  N then jus a few days ago successful got the bottle feeding down. Her suction is rather strong I must say n got even stronger these past few days wif practice frm the bottle. Cuz baby gwyn has been so used to the hardness of a pacifier n the bottle, she hated my nipple!! Like she jus refused it! She was clearly hungry n wanted to suck but she jus won't take it. It took the nurse n speech therapist a lot of coaxing n shoving n squeezing my boobs for like an hr be4 she gave in. It's realli a battle wif her. 

Thing is she is impatient, lazy, strong headed n stubborn (I jus described her daddy btw. Hahaha). She wants the milk immediately, doesn't wanna suck so hard jus to get it, doesn't want our help n wants to do things her own way. So after breast feeding her for 30-45mins... She was finally satisfied. 

Day 2 of breast feeding was jus a few hrs ago (20th). Boy did we go to war wif her again. I breast fed her successfully at 5ish pm but of course wif a lot of fights. N then again at 10ish. 

But she onli takes my left boob n nt my right!? Weird lil one! So my rite boob is always super hard nw.

Breast feedin also kinda screws up my pump schedule. Cuz I pump every 2-4hrs max 5hrs. So nw when I breast feed her I hav to pump out 1/2 cuz I hav quite appt of milk n they are afraid it might choke her. Then she onli drinks frm my left boob leaving my rite boob hanging -.- 

Oh wells... Will try everyday, 2 times a day n hope she gets it soon. Cuz honestly if I hav to pump for her.. It will be a chore when we start to take her out n all. Cuz tt means having to bring the pump out whenever we head out. 

I'm not giving up!! I will fight wif her till she gets it! 

31wks: a wk n 2 days old

It's nw 4.30am n I'm sitting on my bed pumping milk frm my 2nd boob. It's been a wk since I started breast feeding n my boobs are realli used to it. My milk flow is crazy a lot tt my husband complains nw cuz we are running out of storage space soon. But my body isn't used to it. I'm so so tired cuz I need to pump every 4-6hrs.

My daily schedule: 

4ish am: Pump for 30-40mins, wash n sterilize bottles, go back to bed. 

9am: Wake up to shower n pump 

10am: post natal massage 

11ish am: early lunch 

1ish pm: hospital to visit baby gwyn n deliver milk 

My body is realli tired. Well at least I rested the past few mths (though it wasn't as restful as I wished it was cuz of the many complications I had but better than nth). N this is jus the beginning of things!! So we are both trying to adjust to this whole waking up in the middle of the nite thing. Initially my husband wakes up wif me n pumps wif me n all. But nw I jus do it myself cuz I don't wanna wake him up. Nw he gets a "free pass" when baby gwyn comes home he's doing all the wee hr feedings! Muahahahahahahaha 

Update on baby gwyn: 

She's progressing veri well everyday still. She has gained 40g as of date. Lesser tubes connected to her. Being fed 3ml every 4hrs. Moves a lot in her sleep! (So nw I noe wat she has been doing in my belly for the past 7mths. Her kicks/punches were realli strong!!) pees n poos regularly. All the initial testings hav come out gd! She has a few episodes whereby she would be in such a deep sleep she forgets to breathe. A couple of times I was thr n I panicked. I would hav a meltdown after. My husband would hav to calm me down. Thankfully for the past 2days she hasn't had such episodes which puts my mind at ease. She's still stuck at the hospital cuz she hasn't hit the 2kg mark yet. Once she hits it I believe she will be home wif us. So my husband n I calculated on average if she puts on 30g everyday.. She will be home in another 4-5wks which is wat we estimated too. So baby gwyn pls keep taking my milk n put on weight!!! 

I got these breast cups frm the baby fair n wear them at home cuz realli they look funni. But this helps collects excess milk tt drips instead of wearing the breast pads which soaks it up. Like abt 2hrs this cup is 1/2 full! Yea imagine my milk flow. I'm realli a mother cow. 

My milk flow on average each time is abt 120ml to 150ml. I must say I'm quite proud of it! Haha 

Taken yesterday (23/4). She has the funniest sleeping positions ever n she loves to place her hands on her face. Haha 

My heart simply melts whenever she grabs my finger so tightly n won't let go. She's such a sweetheart. 

Ok back to bed I gooooo. Both the husband n I are down wif a sensitive nose. Hav to be ultra careful these days since we don't wanna infect baby gwyn wif anything. I guess it's the weird weather n lack of sleep tt caused it. Yawnsssss