My breast feeding journey part 1

On the 19th of June I was given the first chance to breast feed baby gwyn since she's off the feeding tube n has been taking her bottles fully. So I was super excited when I found out I could try my hand at breast feeding cuz it's such a good bonding experience n it's like an experience for a mother. I was assisted by gwyn's speech therapist n one of my favorite nurses. 

Okay I always Thot breast feeding was dam easy. I mean how hard is it to shove ur nipple into a baby's mouth rite!? WRONG!! Baby gwyn has always taken veri well to te pacifier since the day we introduced it to her during her nicu days.  N then jus a few days ago successful got the bottle feeding down. Her suction is rather strong I must say n got even stronger these past few days wif practice frm the bottle. Cuz baby gwyn has been so used to the hardness of a pacifier n the bottle, she hated my nipple!! Like she jus refused it! She was clearly hungry n wanted to suck but she jus won't take it. It took the nurse n speech therapist a lot of coaxing n shoving n squeezing my boobs for like an hr be4 she gave in. It's realli a battle wif her. 

Thing is she is impatient, lazy, strong headed n stubborn (I jus described her daddy btw. Hahaha). She wants the milk immediately, doesn't wanna suck so hard jus to get it, doesn't want our help n wants to do things her own way. So after breast feeding her for 30-45mins... She was finally satisfied. 

Day 2 of breast feeding was jus a few hrs ago (20th). Boy did we go to war wif her again. I breast fed her successfully at 5ish pm but of course wif a lot of fights. N then again at 10ish. 

But she onli takes my left boob n nt my right!? Weird lil one! So my rite boob is always super hard nw.

Breast feedin also kinda screws up my pump schedule. Cuz I pump every 2-4hrs max 5hrs. So nw when I breast feed her I hav to pump out 1/2 cuz I hav quite appt of milk n they are afraid it might choke her. Then she onli drinks frm my left boob leaving my rite boob hanging -.- 

Oh wells... Will try everyday, 2 times a day n hope she gets it soon. Cuz honestly if I hav to pump for her.. It will be a chore when we start to take her out n all. Cuz tt means having to bring the pump out whenever we head out. 

I'm not giving up!! I will fight wif her till she gets it!