30wks: feeling like a cow mooooo

Yesterday the nurses started to get my colostrum out for baby gwyn. It's the 1st nutrients be4 the milk comes out. I always Thot breast feeding was dam easy. But hell no. I'm in so much pain. Gd thing is I hav a lot of milk. Bad my boobs are rock solid all the time n it's so uncomfy!!!! So they hav given me cold cabbage to help soothe my boobs but doesn't seem to be working on me. Hmmm everyone swears by it. 

I call this my liquid gold!! Veri hardwork okay! 

Nt onli am I battling wif my rock hard boobs... But whenever my boobs are stimulated, my uterus gets stimulated too which causes me cramps n more bleeding at my vaginal area. Sighhh n then thrs my surgery scar tt is still so painful. Moving still hurts. But I'm forced to move more so it can help in my recovery. But it's so painful I honestly rather die. I battle wif the nurses when they want to get me to move. It's a nitemare!! 

Today I felt rather sad when I saw baby gwyn. She shrank n she's nt plumpy today. Well they say it's normal for babies to lose weight during the 1st few days of life but my heart realli ached. I noe she's fighting real hard for her life n it jus makes me so sad. Like if onli I could hav done more n kept her in me longer so she won't hav to fight this hard. It realli breaks my heart tt she's suffering at such an early stage. I jus had a meltdown today n I felt like such a horrible mother. 

But she's honestly doing veri well. She's so active n wiggling around her lil incubator. She's a lil jaundice so she's given phototherapy. I jus need to relax n surrender everything to God n my lil warrior. 

I wanna thank everyone who prayed for my family n I cuz these past few days were stressful n traumatizing. It touches us tt so many people care abt our lil warrior. Will keep updating her status here (: 

This was yesterday. She has sleeping patterns like her daddy n mummy. Too cute 

Under phototherapy.