To all mothers

There are many kinds of mothers in this world... those that gave birth to a healthy full term baby, breastfeeding mothers, those mothers who struggle with breastfeeding and are forced to give formula. Mothers with terminal disease but yet they fight through it for the sake of their child, mothers with children who suffer from terminal disease who have to fight strong to cheer their bubs up, surrogate mothers; babies who arent theirs but is it possible to detach yourself away from a foetus who clearly isnt yours but you carried for 10 whole months? Mothers who donate their eggs to let other women who are infertile have a child; morally and ethically it isnt your child but it has your genes and may somehow look a bit like you. Working mothers who juggle a 9-6pm job who dread leaving their child behind and have little time with their child, full time mothers who devote their life to their child, giving up their personally space and time to be with their child 24/7. Single mothers who decided to be brave and be a father and a mother to their child. Teen mums who made a mistake and although still a child themselves have to grow up very fast to be a responsible mother. Mothers who are in an abusive marriage but yet soldier on and do whatever it takes to protect their child.

And then there are mothers like me.... who spent my first mothers day in the nicu cheering my little bub along. No one wishes to be a mother like me. I remember last year during mothers day i just bawled my eyes out during lunch with Sean cause all i saw were families smiling and spending a special day with their children while mine was in the hospital fighting. All i wanted to rob her away from the hospital and bring her home to be with me.

Fast forward this year, I am truly blessed to be Gwyneth's mother. I never expected being a mother can be so rewarding and fulfilling. I am lucky enough to be with her for the past year and still continuing so. We have such a great and close bond; Im proud to say I cant even pee in peace cause all she wants is me. HAHA.

Whatever mother you are... just know that you are doing the best you can, being the best mother you can be for your child. And though G is so young, I know she knows that Im doing the best I can to fulfill my role as her mother.

So HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL! you deserve it great mothers (:

Thankful Monday

I've been having super random and most out of the world dreams that totally do not make any sense. Like how in the world is it possible that I dream about such ridiculous things??! Don't know if I'm like sleep deprived so my brain is subconsciously stressed out hence causing my weird dreams? Hmmm 

Like I've been dreaming about people I used to date and my exes. Some shocks me in my dreams cause I will wake up and be like "why the hell did you come into my dream!!!?" (Note: I didn't write why the hell did I dream about you cause honestly I DO NOT want to dream about them at all!!) 

And then I will dream about a trauma which haunted me way back in January. And it also has something to do with the job I was offered recently. After I declined that job offer and then I had this dam spastic and ridiculous dream... I was so dam thankful I rejected that job!! I woke up traumatised but super happy with my decision! 

Even though I had a super weird dream again last night... I'm waking up thankful. Cause at 4.45am I woke up to baby G's random babbles. Hahaha I peered into her crib and there she was playing with her fingers, babbling away and when she saw me she smiled (: so I fed her and she went back to bed. She babbled herself to sleep! Haha super cute. 

I'm waking up thankful for the life I have now. I always prayed to marry the love of my life and have an amazing child together. Ive achieved it at such a young age and I'm quite proud of that! I have an understanding husband who allows me to be a stay at home mum for now and enjoy the 1st year of my daughter's life. Even though i don't agree with his silly lil hobbies sometimes... I can never really get mad at him. Cause somehow he always knows how to poke fun at me or be silly and hence I can never be mad at him. I have an amazing little warrior princess as a daughter. She has such a strong fighting spirit which makes me super proud to call her my daughter. I'm blessed with a family who always pampers and supports me in whatever i do. And then now I'm blessed to have my 2nd family who we get along very well. You know how some daughter in laws just don't get along with their in laws especially their mil? Well not for me. My

Mil is awesome and she's very much like my own mother so that's why we click I guess? And I'm even closer to my husbsnd's aunties than my own aunties. 

So yea you can say I'm pretty darn happy and satisfied with how my life turned out. And here's to many more happy years(: 

Here's a load of family pics taken these few weeks! 

Baby G's first wedding 

Bed time family wefies(: 

Don't you just wanna kiss her!! Aiyoooo

Looking so much like her daddy! 

Have a blessed week ahead!!! 

And countdown to my mum's bday: 5 days 

My birthday: 10 days 

My husband's bday: 24 days 

What do I want for my birthday this year? Honestly nothing cause I have everything I ever wanted(: 

38wks n 4days/8wks n 6days old: the test of faith

We are coming to the end of our journey at th nicu/high dependency ward wif our lil warrior princess. Boy has it felt super long n hard! But whenever I look how far we hav come as a family/hw far she has come, it's jus a veri amazing n comforting feeling to noe such a small being noes abt the determination to fight for her life. I'm truly proud to hav baby gwyn as my daughter. 

God has gifted her to us during the mpst least expected time of our lives. N He was the one tt determined when she would be born. No doubt we were terrified at the beginning but it just showed us hw we needed to trust in The Lord that he will carry us through which He clearly did. No parent would want their child to suffer so early in their life. But onli God can determine which child would be able to make it through. He has blessed baby gwyn n gave her such a strong will to live. He has guided her n protected her when we can't be by her side 24/7. It was Becuz I knew she was being protected that I could safely leave the hospital everyday wifout her. 

God has been realli good to my family. Even to my mother too. N I'm sure He will continue to carry us through the rest of our lives. 

I hav strayed from God for yrs. But it's tough times like this tt make me realise He has never forsaken me. 

So I thank you Lord for always watching over me n my family n those who hav been diligently praying for baby gwyn/us everyday. 

It's almost time for her homecoming