Life of a student mummy

2 weeks ago I took the plunge and enrolled myself into a Masters program. Since what I really wanna work as requires a Masters degree, I decided to go for it. I was suppose to enroll into the July intake but they managed to put me in for the march intake. So I started school on Monday night.

My brain felt rusty... Everything was overwhelming and I immediate felt stress. Masters is a whole other level. And this time I can't afford to play anymore. This is what I want to pursue career wise so I gotta do well. But thing is I hate this subject I'm taking. There is a reason why I decided to graduate with an Arts degree when I could have gotten a full fledge Psychology degree all because I HATE research. Its a chore and very tedious process.

So anyways since I'm trying to be a serious student... I came home after my lecture and prepped myself for Tuesday's lecture. But with lil miss itchy fingers climbing here and there.. Getting her tiny fingers on my laptop it was impossible for me to concentrate -,- see this is the beginning of my life as a student mummy.

And then I wondered how those ftwms who study do it? The work load of a Masters student is already daughting enough. Add on a 9-5 job and being a mum 24/7 and wife... How does anyone do it? I don't know and I'm lucky I don't have to know for now.

Today I'm feeling lazy and I just wanna laze in bed all day till I have class at night. I have worked out my "study" schedule for the next few days so today shall just be a me day. Excuses since I already have such a chill life.

But honestly I feel more tired these days. Getting G to bed takes a painstaking 2hours and by the time we sleep its 2am. And then she wakes up about 5-6am for milk and sometimes if I'm lucky she sleeps immediately. But this morning she decided to play till 7.30am -.- FML seriously. And then she woke up at 11.30am when I wished she slept till 1. My broken sleep is exhausting me!!!

So yea I'm so thankful I don't have a full time job now. I'm sure I will really go mad by then. Praying that as she gets older she will go back to sleeping through again. Sighhh

Oh yes and she had a hair cut by mama a few days back. Tell me she looks like a China doll or Chinese version of Boo from Monsters Inc? Hahahaha

Marriage talk: MBS?

I've been wanting to blog about this for a while. But I've been busy settling school stuff and nursing a bad flu and cough. Baby.. Husband.. Grandma and I are all down with the same virus -.-

Sean and I live at both our parents house. On Sunday nights we go back to his side... Thursday my mum comes and pick G and I up and we head back to mine. But because my place is further to Sean's work place.. He doesn't come back till Friday which gives us 1 day apart from each other. There are days where G and I stay on Sunday nights and only go back on Monday. So sometimes we have 2 or more days apart. One day sean asked me "is this good for our marriage?"

Well there are 2 outcomes of it... 1 it makes a couple still miss each other. Another they grow further apart cause of too much personal space. For us, we've been doing this for a year and over now. What I've realized is that it makes us miss each other more. Like sean will always message me to tell me how he misses his girls when we aren't at home. And because G still wakes up in the middle of the night, sean is very exhausted and he has to work too. So I give him one day to sleep through and rest properly. And when we are there he's not able to "enjoy his shrimp hobby" cause we "disturb" him. So on Thursday night he gets time alone for himself.

While some "old school" people may not agree with our arrangement, it works for us. At first I thought it was weird too. But our parents accept it and then I realize we aren't the only couple! A lot of young married couples who are waiting for their BTOs to be ready actually have such arrangements too. Mainly because of distance from work that they choose to stay at their own homes and only stay together during the weekends.

To me how I look at it for the next 3-4 years while waiting for our house, we can afford to this now. When we move in to our house, its for real. We are stuck together for life! Haha and I'm super close to my family so any chance I get to live back at my own house I definitely will. And they love having G with them too.

And thing is at my own house I can chuck G with my mum in the middle of the night if I'm too tired to deal with her. But at Sean's I'm really on my own since sean has work. I can't be knocking on my in laws room at 3am right? So yea I feel more uncomfy at my own home.

To me even though you are married, you mustnt lose your personal identity. As an individual you still need to have your own personal space to do whatever you want without your spouse. So for us, we have one day apart to do that.

I guess this is what we call a modern marriage. The younger generation has adopted this style of marriage. It may work for some or it may not. Whatever it is marriage is about compromise, open communication and coming up with what works for you guys as a couple. There aren't set rules on how to maintain a marriage. Its finding what works together as a couple.

Planning G's first birthday

Can't believe G will be turning 1 next month!! Everyday I look at her I marvel at how much she has grown. And I'm also preparing myself to lose my baby and gain a toddler!! Ahhhh... Its such an emotional feeling that only mothers will understand... Watching your baby grow into a toddler and do "big girl" stuffs !!

So initially we wanted to travel during her birthday but since there's too many air accidents.. I'm a scaredy cat so no to flying for a while. We have decided to throw her a simple party! After bouncing back and forth on venues and themes... I've managed to conceptualize and planned her birthday in 1 day!! With a busy Lil Tod pulling my hair and giving me no peace at all. Thankful my husband stepped in so I could concentrate on my planning.

I amaze myself how I can plan a party in less than a day. I will do a more detailed post on the party once its done! For now here are what's been done and some party planning tips!

1) budget!
-give yourself a budget so you won't be spending crazy amounts on a party your Lil one won't remember!

2) decide on your venue, date and time
-this was a chore at the beginning cause after all its her first birthday which she won't remember so we don't want it too extravagant. I wanted to book those play gyms but Sean thought it won't be safe as she's so small and all. Finally I decided to just have it at my condo's function room again (which I thought "omg so boring again cause we had her homecoming celebration there too.") That's when my mum suggested an awesome idea which I will talk about later

3) decide on a theme
-this was no brainer cause I decided this theme like a year ago? Hahaha or maybe more than a year ago when she was still in my womb. Hahaha

4) list down your guests (number of adults and children)

5) dessert table
-I always wanted a dessert table!! But hiring one is quite expensive. So since I am quite creative and I bake pretty well too.. I've decided to do my own! Pretty stoked on it and I've even named the dishes according to the theme(:

6) cake
-I spoke to one of my gf's and she made a dam good point. Why spend so much on a nice fondant cake when baby can't even eat? True true... Initially I didnt want a cake since I have cupcakes for the dessert table. But then I found a cake which is not a cake. Haha and its not that expensive either.

7) birthday banner
-so I started doing my research on dessert tables and how other people decorated them and all. I decided to customize a backdrop for the dessert table. Just to make it more colorful and professional.

8) balloons
-everyone knows I LOVE LOVE balloons! This one I won't need to spend alot as I have old designs which fit the theme which I will just get it filled up with helium. But I will get a bouquet of balloons which has "first birthday'' and all that stuffs just to symbolize it is a first birthday!

9) food
-I never have problem with this cause my dad takes care of this

10) invites
-this annoys me cause I can't send out my invites yet as I am not sure if I can confirm the venue or not!! Grrr my stupid condo has a stupid policy that all bookings of rooms need to be exactly a month prior to the event -.- so kill me now

11) photos
-I always print out photos of her growing up and all and do it into a scrapbook so people can view them and all. I think this time I will do her photos into a board. Hmmm. My biggest problem with this? Which ones to choose!!! Grrrr cause she has soooooo many photos! Hahaha

12) entertainment
-I decided to set up a play area so the Lil ones can play. And also another corner where the older kids can color and play too!

13) video montage?
-thinking of doing a video montage of G's funny videos we have taken over the year. We shall see if I have the time!

Yea think that's about it. Hope this helps some of you who are going to plan your kids birthday! I am so darn excited but yet sad that my baby is growing so fast :( ahhhh #motherwoes 

As mentioned I will do another elaborate post once her party is done! (: and I will list the vendors I used for her party too!

A very fail moment as a mother

I bet most mums if not all can relate with me on this. When your child just has a crazy meltdown and no matter what you do nothing seems to calm the Lil bug down. You thought "hey OK I have boobs and boobs always comfort her. I shall shove them into her mouth and pray she keeps quiet." But no for some reason she didn't want her usual source of comfort. When even your boobs fail you... You feel like the most fail mother on the planet. Then you try the normal methods like rocking... Carrying.. Bouncing.. Singing. Nothing works! Mind you G was doing balistic in the car where I obviously can't walk around right.

Then there comes my mother. Who stopped the car at the side of the road and swapped places with me. Once she carried G she immediately calmed down. Yay to no more screaming but at that moment my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. Like wad my daughter doesn't want her own mother to soothe her?! On the other hand I was thankful she could calm down with the help of my mum but yet as a mother you feel like a failure. I was actually quite upset with G at that point too. So imagine all these negativity and deflatedness I was feeling. I just wanted to rush home and surrender her to my husband.

Sean saw how exhausted and deflated I was like I lost a horrible war. Which in fact I did. He took G and asked her "why you make mummy so angry?" She smiled. Thing with babies now is they don't understand the different emotions we give them. They haven't learnt how to differentiate between anger or sadness. So they just simply laugh it off or smile. Which honestly can be annoying cause you just can't stay mad at them. Like how to when this Lil bug is smiling  at you? I refuse to look or talk to G for a while. Until I was calm and the world felt like a better place then I picked her up and kissed her. And then I told sean "I need a job NOW!!" 

I don't know if G is going through a phase. But she breaks out in such weird crazy moods and she is so hard to put to sleep! She crawls all over.. Pulls everything she can get her hands on. I'm so so exhausted but yet glad I'm not working now so I can deal with her.

As I'm typing this she is trying to dig my eyeballs out. Yeps this is my Lil active destructive monster I have now. Praying its a phase please so I can feel like a human again.

But really its a love hate relationship I have now being a sahm. I love being with my daughter but times when she's being a lil monster I wish I had a job which entails me being away from her for a good 8hours or more. But I know I will regret saying this when I actually have a job again. I guess as a mother or human you just can't be fully satisfied right?

Haiya but just look at how cute she is!! How to stay mad at you my sweet pea?

My lil big girl...

Sean just put G to sleep. I looked at how he cradled her and rocked her to sleep. Her legs stretching way past his ribs. She used to fit so nicely in daddy's arms. On one arm even. Now she's sprawled out of his arms. My lil girl is growing so fast. Tears welled up in my eyes after seeing how far she has come. She was a tiny fragile thing living in an incubator for the first month of her life. Now she's big.. Healthy and doing us very proud with the things she does everyday. She's mine and I'm so proud to call her my daughter.

We all love you so much Gwyneth. More than you can ever imagine.

Things my husband does that really annoys me

I have never blogged about such topics before. All along I've only blogged about G.. Her milestones and some parental stuffs because I never thought I would ever need to touch on these. But today is the day.... Yep the title pretty much sums it up...

Things my husband does that really annoys me:

1) when he doesn't bother to call or message to let me know whether he is done with work or his where abouts or what time he will be home.

This is one thing I really cannot stand!! I can't emphasize how many times I've had squabbles with him over this. OK you see when I had a job and if I end at 11pm.. I always always call my husband to let him know I'm leaving work and on the way home. Because its late and all. But as time went by I realize it doesn't matter to him if I call or what.

To me its not just about the safety part. Like what if something along the way happens and all. No its just a responsibility as a spouse right? To inform the other half where you are or what time you will be home. I had this conversation with my ex colleagues too who are husband or boyfriends. They all don't see a need to. But to women its a big deal! Its not because we don't trust you but really its your responsibility as a boyfriend or husband to let your girlfriend or wife know where you are! Is it that difficult to drop a simple message like "otw home or leaving work?" 2 words is all I ask for and its like a chore to men -.-

2) when he's constantly on the phone

My husband has become so attached to his phone its ridiculous. I can be sitting there talking to him and he's on his phone. And when I ask him what I said he just tells me half of what I said. Like what?! What is so darn important you can't pay attention to your wife? And it pisses me off when he's on the phone when G is sitting in front of him. Can't you put down your phone and give your daughter attention?

Lately he's become a phone addict ever since his stupid hobby. Which brings me to point 3

3) his stupid shrimp hobby

Yea my husband rears shrimps. Tiny stupid hei be. No joke they are that small. I don't know how much he has spent on this and I rather not know cause I will be so darn angry. For a period of time he used to come home.. Stare at his shrimps.. Then say hi to his daughter then his wife. Until one day I got so irritated I told him off. Like wth his shrimps are more important than his family? Crazy or what. And why he's constantly on his phone cause he has several group chats which he names "crazy shrimpers" or "shrimpers" which are constantly messaging each other. Like really wtf?! Or he's following shrimp Facebook accounts. Someone just kill me now.

Oh and if you see our room... Its like I'm living in a dam aquarium. He has 2 tanks on the computer table. One long tank which is segmented into 3 parts... 1 huge ass shelf with 1 MBS like infinity pool on the top... And 4 other tanks below it. And he has to put dam bloody bright lights on each of the tanks. Can you imagine how bright the room is?! And the lights are even on when we sleep. And I HATE light. Like seriously I think I'm a vampire cause I really hate the light or bright day. So imagine how hopping mad and irritated I get with his stupid tank lights. Sighhh #whyismyhusbandlikethis

My husband and I hardly argue... But when we do have petty arguments these are the 3 main reasons. Sometimes I really don't understand what goes on in his head.

Despite these 3 stupid and horrible thinga of his that I hate and cannot stand... He still is an awesome husband and daddy (most of the time). Plus he's not always like that. And sometimes I can tolerate his such nonsense but when I'm cranky or really need his attention on things... Then that's when I go bananas.

I still love you you annoying person. Plus I'm stuck with him forever. So its all about compromise and tolerance in a marriage and to accept one another's flaws and habits even when they are stupid and weird. And also always acknowledge and apologize when you are at fault and the other must always be willing to forgive and forget.

Now that I'm back to blogging.. I shall also start blogging a marriage series so do look out for those. Even though we have been married for a year... This year has taught me a lot. So I shall share our experiences with you. And also because I will be studying my Masters in counselling in July. So once I start I shall share what I learn over here. 

1st wedding anniversary

A year back we got married at Pan Pacific Singapore. We went back again to celebrate our 1yr anniversary but this time with G(: she was such a great baby and definitely and awesome hotel staycation baby! She enjoyed herself so much and what I found great was they provided us with a baby cot and a travel kit with baby shampoo and what nots! Plus point for that though we had many hiccups prior to making our booking. And then on the day of our check in we found out we were given another voucher for another room. So we booked it and gave it to my in laws. Had an awesome stay with my family! Next up is an actual holiday to another country.

Nothing is more important than my family. They give me strength and keep me going everyday.

*apologies to an abrupt ending... Trying to test if I can successfully upload this post! I promise a more coherent post next!*