Birthday staycation

Every year during the month of October my husband and I will book a stay cation because it's our birthday month! Last year we went to shangri-la and this year we decided to book Equarius hotel. It was super last minute and we booked it via booking.com. The reviews of the place were really good but why we booked it is because it was really cheap!! Maybe because we went on a Tuesday but really the price was out of this world! So we left baby G in the hands of my mother for a night and off we went! While making our way there my husband actually said "I have a feeling the room is going to be horrible." Cause he thought it was too good to be true. 

So we checked in and received the best news... We got upgraded!! I was like "wah still can upgrade for the price we paid?! No waayyyy!" So I was super excited to check out the room!! 

From a deluxe room we got upgraded to a suite!! We walked up to the door of our room and saw 2 doors. My husband was like "okay this should be good! Anything with 2 doors is good." So we walked in and we were in awe!! The room had a living space with a nice dining area... Small kitchen... Sofa.. Huge tv.. Huge bedroom.. Huge bathroom and we overlooked adventure cove and the marine life park!! It was unbelievable!! The bed was amazingggggg!! Just the rest I needed. 

We utilized the bathtub too many times within our stay! Haha they gave bath salts which were super therapeutic and every time after my soak in the tub I will feel super relaxed and sleepy. 

Headed out for lunch within RWS. Okay the thing is this hotel was situated away from the main area where USS and the restaurants are. But thankfully the hotel provided free shuttle bus services so we took that. 

Back to the hotel where we decided to use the pool since it was so resort like. Use the pool to me means camwhoring! Hahahahaha 

Yeps one of the best staycations we had(: staff were very friendly and whatever we requested were met promptly. definitely going back there again and taking baby G too. Hoping to book the ocean suite next where we have the view of the fishes! 

6mths (3mths 19days) milestones

Happy 6mths my lil pumpkin!! 

She's now exactly 6mths actual (3mths 19days corrected). All these milestones were achieved prior to this date so that means she's progressing faster than her corrected milestones. So she's like in between her corrected and actual age in terms of milestones. 

-sit up on her own (with the support of pillows and she won't fall over/with little support from us)

-she's able to hold her bottle 

-she's knows how to pull her bottle out from her mouth when she doesn't want to drink 

-she loves tummy time now 

-she can flip from her back to tummy... Tummy to back 

-she's able to lift her butt up (in preparation for crawling) 

-she now kicks her leg while on her tummy (in preparation for crawling) 

-she can lift her head up pretty high 

-she's too big for her 3mths clothes... But too small for her 6mths clothes 

-she loves her hands; loves to suck them and make smacking sounds 

-she can grab her toys and put them in her mouth 

-able to grab things (eg: chopsticks) and holds them for a very long time 

-she laughs and talks ALOT 

-she replies you when you talk to her 

-when u prop her up with pillows and she slides down... She attempts to sit up by using her tummy muscles to get herself up 

-went for her first baby spa swim 

-and just today she learnt how to "fly" (refer to second picture!) her back muscles are so strong and when she's up in the flying position her legs will automatically straighten, arms straighten too! Hahaha super cute 

This is her attempting to use her abs to sit up properly! Like a boss this one 

Mummy's sweet lil angel (most of the time when she isn't screamin her lungs out). I love you so much and nothing will ever change. 

Oh wow it just hit me... I've been breastfeeding for 6mths!! WHOOOO it's my celebration milestone too! 

Hope

Today was another day out with baby G. Seriously this is one baby that goes out so often! Haha but I enjoy bringing her out plus she's pretty easy when she's out. Just that the amount of things I have to bring out is madness!! 

Her baby bag: 

-1 milk bottle of express breast milk (ebm) 

-bottle warmer 

-flask of hot water 

-her water bottle 

-pacifier 

-diapers n wipes 

-change of clothes 

-cooler bag wif ice pack n extra bottle of milk 

-my breast pump 

-baby carrier 

So just yesterday i actually nursed her in a nursing room!! Trying this new way where I only bring one bottle of milk out and the next time she needs to feed I will breast feed her directly. Pretty happy to report it was successful!! Because I nursed at Taka's nursing room which is super clean n comfy! Big plus points for me. My next achievement is to nurse her in public with a nursing cover! GO ME! 

Anyways today headed for lunch with my mum and her friends. Then dropped her off to have tea and then I took the car with baby G behind and met fellow preemie mummy phyllis. Funny story how I got to know her. I was randomly surfing Instagram when I came across her profile and saw pictures of her baby boy in an sgh swaddle. Browsed further and found out she gave birth at 30weeks! So another fellow preemie mummy and she is also my age! So I reached out to her (hoping I didn't freak her out haha) and found out we have so many things in common and bam we clicked instantly! 

Today was my first time taking baby G out without my mum or husband for a short while (okay I cheated I had help from phyllis too) but hey it's an achievement okay! I think baby G knew I was alone so she was so well behave that she slept through as I drove and while we were out having llaollao. 

Then we headed to pick my mum and headed to the hospital to visit baby K! Baby G and I are probably the only ones who get to see baby K up close since we are allowed to go in being ex patients. All the nurses always get so happy when they see baby G. I guess they feel so proud of them. Like their hardwork of looking after them during the first few weeks/months of their life has paid off when they see them grow so big and strong. Everyone praised her and said she's super talkative. Baby G was busy talking to everyone and even met her physiotherapist upstairs which did an informal assessment for her and said she's hitting her milestones way before her corrected age! So yay (shall do her milestone update in another post). 

Baby G got a lil fussy so the nurses handed her back to me. And then she decided to do a poop explosion all over my leg and shorts!!!! OMG her poop stained her Burberry shoes and luckily I managed to move my leg in time if not she would have pooped on my Ash pony hair shoe! 

So I was in such a mess just now. Thankful that Phyllis helped dress baby G up while I cleaned the poop mess on the floor. And in the midst of cleaning another mummy who's going through the nicu journey spoke to me. And then another mummy who gave birth over the weekend to a pair of twins also came to speak to me and Phyllis. They were so upset and helpless so we just shared our stories. This is why I named baby G Hope too. She gave me hope when I found out I was pregnant and I hope through her nicu journey she can give other families hope too. 

The other mummy told me it's very heartening to see baby G striving so well despite what she has went through. It gave them some form of encouragement. 

Here's baby K! He's so tiny and cuteeeee!! Can't believe baby G used to be this tiny too!! Ahhhhh 

Possibly her boyfriend in the future? Heehee! K we shall start with playdates and see how. Plus there's another baby boy to choose from. Hahahahaha #crazymothers 

But it's also because of the amazing medical team and nurses who helped us get through the nicu journey. They love these babies so much and the amount of love, care and attention they give to them is so heartening. I'm always so grateful to them because they really took such great care of her and guided us through our journey. And they are the nicest and friendliest bunch of nurses I have ever met! 

Any mummies who are going through the nicu journey and need someone to talk to please feel free to email me at yukimi_11@hotmail.com ! 

Feeling 22

Today I look back at my past 22 years and dam have I done honestly well. I've been surrounded by amazing people who always support and love me no matter wad. But this past 1 year has been the most amazing and rewarding one. I became a uni graduate... Married my best friend and love of my life... Got pregnant and gave birth to such an amazing warrior princess. My proudest moment is definitely being a mother. 

This cheeky lil bumsie

Hahaha and then she got frustrated staring at the cake but can't eat it! 

The only gifts I will ever need (: family

Just last year when I celebrated my 21st birthday I had no idea I was growing such an amazing life in me. And fast forward to this year she's healthy, strong and so full of character. She's everything I wished for and more! 

This vs that

Yesterday I had my first meltdown as a mother. I knew this day would come eventually but I just didn't think I would react like how I did yesterday. Won't go into details on what happened but it inspired me to blog about this topic.... 

Whose kid is better? 

Being in an asian country... Being asian parents.. I think we have all experienced our parents or family members comparing us to so and so's child and that so n so's child being compared to you. Be it in regards to academic, physical appearance, weight, social skills, manners, upbringing etc the list goes on. No doubt my mother was like that too but not so over the top like some mummies who go "Aiyo why you so stupid not like so and so's daughter!!? I send you to classes with her and yet she does better than you!" 

My mum was subtle and less "hurtful" with her comparisons. But it got to a point where I exploded on her a few times when she would compare me with my friends. Cause honestly my feelings were hurt. And as a child you only want your own parents to be proud of you and not think another child is better. I think after I voiced out how hurt I was she realised and stop making comparisons. 

So tables have turned and now I'm a mother. Yes I do subtly compare baby G with other babies (but only to my husband and mother okay!) but that's because when baby G achieves a certain milestone for example I am super proud of her cause she is a premature baby. So when she hits a milestone that is earlier than what is stated of course I will bask in the glory that my daughter is smart! Come on which parent wouldn't! So guilty as charged on my part. And when baby G "performs" better than another baby I will be super proud and an immature little voice inside me will go "my child is better than yours." 

So yes I am guilty of comparing baby G with other babies. But I don't openly say it or put it out there! So I had to deal with people comparing baby G to another baby. And even though I know they don't mean it and it wasn't a direct hit at her.. I really felt super helpless that I couldn't defend my child. I felt super fail as a mother and really hurt. Like I wished I could have defended my child but that would just imply I'm super sensitive, overly protective and a crazy mother. 

But you gotta understand that Baby G had such a hard first 2 months of her life. So obviously I wanna give her the best care and attention. And as much as I don't expect it from other people but at least be a bit more sensitive and aware  of her and me. I never thought when you hear someone else say something indirectly about your child could hurt so much. I think if anyone would say anything directly to her I would have probably snapped and go hysterical. 

So I was balling my eyes out and had a good talk with my husband. I know I probably over reacted a little but at that moment I felt soooooo hurt. Like honestly I had my fair share of haters way back in my younger years and I had to deal with nasty keyboard warriors. But it's social media that made me have a thick skin for myself. I guess I need to grow another set of thick skin for my daughter. So I won't have another meltdown again. 

It's one thing to say something nasty to me but when someone says something about my own flesh and blood the pain you feel hits another level. 

So how do you parents deal with such encounters? I know it's going to happen to Baby G again and I would have to deal with it again. I just hope the next time around I wouldn't have such a bad meltdown. 

Yeps basically that's me having a meltdown. Mini me... 

Rock hard solid boobs

So it's another #breastfeeding topic. 

I always read of mummies suffering from blocked ducts, engorgement fever, engorgement, sore nipples and mastitis of all worse cases. Some are so graphic in explanation that I literally sit there cringing cause gosh I can't imagine how painful it must be!! I was always lucky cause I never suffered that bad? My first few days after giving birth yes I had engorgement but it was never that bad that it became unbearable. It was tolerable (maybe because the nurses that took care of me came back every 1-2hours to literally squeeze my boobs dry). 

So on Thursday I went to the baby fair at expo (yea no surprises there cause I absolutely LOVE baby fairs). I went to buy stuffs to wean baby G soon as she's coming 6mths (actual in December) and this is prob the last fair of the year. I normally go 6-7hours max without pumping and I can survive. I no longer wake up in the middle of the night cause I'm over producing milk for baby G and since I don't get engorgement anymore I figured I can have my sleep. 

I came home to rock hard boobs (but wasn't the hardest I ever experienced) and I went to pump. But after I pumped I noticed I had so many hard ducts and I started feeling so fatigued, chills and a slight fever came creeping in. And then I realised "oh shit I'm doomed. My worse nightmare has begun." I got baby G to latch, I massaged, pump every few hours, hand express, hot compress, hot shower... NOTHING worked!! I was in agonizing pain and my fever was getting worse. Messaged my massage lady that did my post natal massage and thankfully she could come the next day as she's super busy. 

Massage was the WORSE!! My massage lady was dam cute cuz she kept apologizing as she was massaging my boobs. I was jus busy screaming. But thankfully it did help a lil but still didn't entirely clear. 

It's now Sunday n I'm happy to say my blocked ducts are almost all clear!! Yay!! After combing my boobs... Massage... Pump.. Latch... Wah such hard work man!! Still have 2 blocked ducts so I think I just need 1 more round of massage and i should be good. 

I had the intention to stop breastfeeding after this horrendous episode of engorgement but I guess I will jus let my boobs decide. If my milk jus dries up then so be it. I love breast feeding baby G cuz I can eat whatever I want and not put on weight. And since I just established the latching relationship I don't wanna give that up yet after fighting with her during the initial phase. So we shall seeeeeeee (: