A married life 2

I'm in bed alone tonite wif my 2 boys n baby in my belly. Daddy is at his own place n I'm at my own. Nw u must think we hav such weird arrangements. It's Becuz tmr I hav to take 1 of our 4 cars n accompany my mum while she drops the Volvo off for servicing. So I decided to come back home n stay for the nite wifout my husband. We did this a few wks ago but tt was Becuz I was realli sick n i took too many meds which knocked me out. Oh n when he had over nite duty also last wk. Nw tt I'm totally "sane" n "sober"... I realli miss my husband next to me. It jus feels weird wifout him already. Like I noe when I turn to my left he's thr n tt always comforts me. Tonite I'm alone. Thankful for my 2 boys n baby in my belly though if nt I would be realli sad. She's currently still busy moving around in my belly while the dogs are snuggled next to me. 

Gd nite world.... Gg baby supplies price comparing tmr wif my mummy. 

A married life

Today is 1st April n my husband n I are 4yrs n 3mths old. We got together on 1st jan 2010. Tmr marks the 2nd mth we've been married. N everything has been great (: 

Our r/s was nv perfect.. No one in this one is. But I can safely say tt throughout our r/s... We hav nv quarreled much. Onli like once or twice a yr we hav a major argument which is sooooo bad it's scary. But other than tt... We hav nv had petty disagreements. I guess cuz both of us are quite accommodating to each other n trust has nv been an issue for either of us. I can say I'm truly blessed to hav married my bestfren, lover n soulmate. 

We always poke fun at each other. Even nw when I'm pregnant we still love to annoy the hell out of each other. This is wat I love most abt us. We noe hw to hav fun n joke around wif each other. He makes me so happy everyday n makes me laugh so much tt nw tt I'm pregnant... I need to tell him to stop making me laugh too much cuz whenever I do... Baby seems to get excited n kick me like mad too! He keeps saying hw he can't wait for baby to come out so he can annoy her too. Haha! 

Even though we see each other everyday nw... I still dread it when I say goodbye to him as he leaves for work every morning. Once he leaves I then start looking forward to the time he comes home. 

This was yesterday. We still miss each other even though we see each other everyday(:

Nt many people noe the story of hw Sean n I met. So I shall blog abt it in another post. But let's jus say it's realli by God's grace n planning tt we met. 

Frm a blind date... To getting to noe one another... To my bf n nw my husband for the rest of my life... I love u so much n I'm so thankful tt u are mine (k soon I hav to share u wif our daughter. Haha) 

27wks n 4 days thots

I honestly havnt been gg out much these days. 1stly I find it a chore jus to pick out wat to wear. I'm mostly in maternity shorts, a tight or loose top or a maxi dress. Somehow I feel maxi dresses looks so pretty on a pregnant woman. Haha! N plus it's fuss free. 2ndly I hav no mood to paint my face. I've embraced my natural awesome (thxs to my hormones) skin so most of the time when I do go out I'm bare faced. N even if I do go out nw it's to like nearby places which means I'm in shorts n tee shirt. 3rdly I can't walk for too long Becuz of my dilated cervix. So yea I'm always home n actually loving it.

 I noe I should be heading out more while I can be4 my baby arrives but I'm actually enjoying my time doing absolutely nth. Haha nw I'm realli jus catching up on my sleep be4 my baby comes. 

So anyways yesterday my husband, sis n her bf caught captain America at Jem's platinum suites. Ever since my husband n I discovered the comfort of watching movie thr... We hav said we won't watch movie unless it's at the suites. Plus nw I realli need a comfy chair in order to sit through a 2hr movie. So okay la nt too bad. I must say captain America 2 is better than the 1st one. But u do need to watch the 1st one in order to get the flow of the 2nd. Oh yea n stay till the veri end of the credits !! 

So every nite I make my husband bond wif our baby by talking to her or jus feeling her movements. It still scares him when he sees part of my belly move when she moves. Haha! Last nite while in bed I had tt overwhelming love, peace n joy. Like I realli can't wait for my baby to be born cuz I noe hw great of a father my husband will be to her. Esp since she's a girl... I noe hw protective he will be of her. I jus can't wait to see my family grow together. Becuz we are at my place more often nw... We are wif the our dogs more also. He's jus so gd wif them already wat more a human child! So yea I'm dying to see his fatherly instincts kick in overdrive(: 

Ah the anticipation kills me!! We are finally stepping into April n tt gives me 3 more mths till I see my precious angel!! Oh n update on my horrible symptoms of pregnancy... Well Becuz I was on antibiotics... My infection has cleared which means my back pains are ALOT better n I can walk n move around more. Also my mum arranges this lady who comes to our place once a wk to do a prenatal massage for me n she's realli dam awesome!! I've been sleeping better jus tt baby seems to love to kick me when I'm sleeping n my constant need to pee every 1.5hrs wakes me up n all but things are a lot better nw. They say 3rd tri is hard... I'm praying I get it easy. 

N nw I hav to realli force myself to eat n gain weight though baby is of the rite weight. But IF she would come our pretermed... Her weight isn't tt sufficient so nw I'm trying to gain weight n all. As of nw I've onli put on 5kgs so far (I'm 27wks n 4days today). I lost 1.5kg due to my infection n all. Most people would love to be in my position nw. Can eat watever u want. But I simply hav no appetite? Eating is such a chore nw. Sighhh. 

In the next 3mths we still hav baby stuffs to buy... Havnt even gone for those baby classes... Goshhhh! Gonna sign us up for classes wif the hospital in May (yes we are veri last min people). Oh wells... 

This post is all over the place. It's like my thots are running wild. Pregnancy brain. Shall end wif a pic frm yesterday's movie date day! 

27 wks n 1 day check up

Today we went for our 27wk ultrasound scan. It's the 3rd time seeing my gynae this mth; the previous 2 times were for my UTI... Today was a thoroughly progress check on baby. I was in the scanning room for quite a while. N baby wasn't veri cooperative today. She jus refuse to let us get a proper look at her. Bummer... But at least we noe she's growing accordingly n my gynae is veri happy wif her progress. In a sense whr she's growing steadily despite me falling sick quite a bit n nt eating much. N even the imaging technician tt always sees me says she's realli active. 

But thrs always a but. My placenta is veri low. Tt I already noe. But wat was said to me next jus literally crushed me n caused me to get an anxiety attack. My cervix has dilated. Which means I'm at a high risk of giving birth to a premature baby. Somehw my world literally came crashing down for a while when I was in the room. I held my tears back. I noe I've been saying hw much I want this pregnancy to be over. But nt like this when she's nt ready to be born yet! She's onli 27wks old n weighing at 860g onli!! My gynae is a veri optimistic person. He says tt IF she would be born anytime soon... She's at a weight whr she can survive n all. But of course tts nt wat we want. We wanna keep her in as long as possible. 

So rite nw I'm so paranoid. Every cramp stresses me out cuz it could be a contraction which I'm nt aware abt. I hav to watch myself closely n noe when I might be getting contractions n quickly rush to the hospital. When I sneeze I get so scared she suddenly slides out. I can't walk or do much physical activities. Sighhh worse part thrs nth much I can do to prevent an early birth cuz it's my uterus at fault. Nw we can onli pray we can keep her in at least till 35wks tts my aim but best if she can wait till 37wks cuz tts full term. 

I started googling abt preterm babies n their problems n scared myself like mad. Then I jus kept crying n crying cuz tts nt the life I want her to hav. Like I see more negative effects of a pretermed baby than positive. N I jus feel so helpless. 

I'm thankful my husband is nt worried at all. Whenever I'm stressed or worried over our baby... My husband has always been so optimistic n always so encouraging. He jus keeps telling me "she's a strong baby n she will wait." 

 

My dearest princess... 

Hold up in thr okay n take ur time to come out. Mummy has been suffering while carrying u but all I want is for u to be healthy n strong. We want u inside me long enough for ur organs to be strong so u can fight this world when u come out. So be patient cuz u hav plenty of time on this earth to do watever u want. For nw jus stay as long as u can in my belly. We love u so much. 

Pls keep us in ur prayers. All we want is a healthy strong full term baby. 

27 weeker

It's another wk till we hit our 3rd trimester!!! Feels like forever pls. But nw tt our due date is approaching... I'm started to create lists of things I still hav to buy or do. Feels like time is running away frm me. But I ain't complaining. Many women go through the nesting phase in their pregnancy. Well nt for me. I've got so much to clear be4 baby arrives but I jus don't feel like cleaning? Maybe cuz my back is still painful so moving around bending down n all is such a chore. Idk wonder when the nesting phase will kick in in me. Hmmm 

Gg for our doc appt tmr! N we'll get to see our baby again (: this mth I've seen my gynae twice... Third time tmr. Each time he always brings gd news tt baby is growing well n steady of the norm. But today my husband rubbed my belly n said "y is ur stomach so small n less bloated suddenly?" Yea I too noticed this today. Hope all is fine. We will find out tmr. 

27wk baby bump

I managed to pull myself out of the hse n go for lunch wif my mum n her frens. All who see me always say I look so gd pregnant. Thank goodness. But yea I'm glad today was 1 of the better days whr I could go out.. Walk around for a while n nt scream in pain. But am currently feeling a knotted nerve or something on my back n it hurts like a bitch. Sigh pieeee... 

Also I've been cooking more for my husband since we hav moved back to my place more permanently. Cuz he stays in a 2 storey hse n wif my back aches n weird "spastic leg"... Moving around is so hard. N also at my place I'm more comfy n my maid can help me do a lot of things whereas thr I'm pretty much dependent on my own to get things or my mother-in-law would help me do things n all which makes me so uncomfy. Like it isn't nice n all. So my husband has been great in compromising wif me since commuting frm my place to his work is further. To make it up to him... I service him... aLOT! I cook... make my awesome smoothie n juices when he requests for them... My hands hav even become his own personal feeder -.- anyways am jus so thankful n happy whenever I'm back at my own place. I can do watever I want n all. Cuz I still hav weird habits whereby I wake up in the middle of the nite sometimes n go watch tv or grab a snack when I can't sleep. N at his place I don't dare do tt cuz I hav to climb down the stairs n all. 

Off to bed nw. Realli excited to see baby later! She's been super active the whole day today. N i like to believe whenever she's hungry n wants to eat n I don't "feed" her.. She gets mad at me n kicks me so hard!! Cuz tt was wat happened today -.- 

What to expect when you are expecting part 2 (the happy parts)

So after pouring water on everyone's' expectations of pregnancy... Here are the better side of things for me: 

-knowing u are carrying a life 

This itself is such an amazing truth. The moment u find out u hav something growing in u... It's such a... Hmm no words can describe this amazing feeling. Of course when I 1st out n given the circumstances I was I panicked. But wif the support of Sean n our family things jus fell into place to nicely. I then started prepping myself for the dreams n thots of being pregnant. When will my belly start showing? When can I find out the gender? Is my baby healthy? Wat kind of birth will I hav? Will thr be complications? 

-people knowing u are pregnant 

This one was a rather easy one to get through for our case. All our frens who hav known us frm day 1 when we were dating were all so supportive n encouraging. Everyone was genuinely happy for us. Their well wishes jus made it so clear to us hw much we mean to our frens n tt they were happy to go on this next journey wif us. Sean n I has always talked abt marriage n kids frm the beginning of our r/s so it was no shocker when we broke the news to everyone. N whenever I go out wif frens I'm always well taken care of. Everyone would fuss over me or ask me wat I wanna eat n all. 

-seeing baby's heartbeat for the 1st time 

This was another amazing experience tt money can't buy. For both Sean n I we were jus speechless. To think when we found out we were onli at wk5 when I 1st had a glimpse of our baby's heartbeat. We literally saw our baby grow be4 our eyes (through a monitor). Frm a tiny lil for to an actual tiny human being wif distinct features today. Like it's weird hw I didn't start showing at all till wk22-23 but yet I  knew something was indeed growing inside my belly. 

-the glowing radiant skin 

Many women suffer adverse reactions frm pregnancy due to their hormones. I've read horror stories of breakouts, oily skin, back acne, dry skin, flaky skin etc I was mortified n so worried! Thankfully for me my skin has nv been better!!! I hav nt used make up, facial wash, moisturizer, toner, scrubs or masked for a while! I had veri dry skin be4 my wedding so I had to splurge on things to save my face but somehw frm wk 20 onwards it got better! My skin is smooth like a baby's butt n I used to get veri bad blackheads but nw it seems to hav gotten better too! N everyone compliments my radiant pregnancy glow (: 

-starting our family 

Sean n I are finally starting our next journey together. For 4yrs we hav dreamed of our wedding n wat our future family will be like. Nw it's finally in the works n we are both so thrilled n excited!

-feeling baby's movements for the 1st time 

This came abt wk 22-23 too for me. It's another magical feeling tt no other women can describe to u. Onli a mother would noe this feeling. Esp when u rub ur belly, speak to ur belly, poke ur belly n baby actually responds wif a lil movements... It's jus so cute! It's like when my baby hears our voices, most of the time she would respond to us! It's like she can understand us. N tts a veri gd bonding experience for both parents n baby n help baby get familiar wif our voices. Parents' voices can act as a soother next time when baby gets cranky, upset or happy. 

-the anticipation of our baby's birth 

This I'm DYING for!! U hav no idea hw much I'm dying to hold my baby in my arms... Cry when I see her for the 1st time cuz I've come so far... Hear her cries for the 1st time (n then later wish she would shut up n go sleep! Haha) smell her baby smell... Teach her things our parents taught us... Bring her up wif gd values n principles... Her 1st words, steps ahhh jus so many things!! Yes our lives will be topsy turvy for a while as we break into a routine we are all comfy wif, the sleepless nites n all but I noe it's all worth it. I carried this life for 9mths... I wanna see wat we can accomplish together as a family(: 

-shopping for baby stuffs 

This has been fun for me n my family! As it's our 1st grandchild/niece, my mum n sis has been quite enthusiastic abt shopping for my baby! She already is being pampered like mad!!! She already has a Burberry dress n shoes waiting for her! Haha! N the amt of lil tiny cutesie rompers n accessories... Gosh! N it's nt even full force shopping yet! Imagine when we actually approach May... Her wardrobe will prob be as huge as her mother's!! Plus she also has her cousin's clothes to wear! (I've nt officially announced the gender of our baby yet but subtly dropped hints here n thr. Nw if u read this space u noe 1st hand) 

I actually sat down a while n couldn't come up wif this "happy" list for a long time. After speaking to my husband n mummy.. It finally flowed. I guess I need to complain lesser n try to experience n enjoy these remaining 14wks. 

Today is 1 of my better days I've had in a VERI long time! I had the best massage in my life which made my back ALOT better n I managed to sleep alright. I even plucked up the courage to head out n get some groceries done but immediately dreaded it n wanted to jus come home! I realli HATE people n crowds nw n my back n cramps started creeping in. So yea I'm convinced i need to be home for the next few mths. Or I Thot abt renting a wheelchair! Hahaha whenever I realli NEED to go out I will resort to tt. My husband thinks I'm mad. 

What to expect when you're expecting

So one of my fav movies has got to be 'what to expect when you're expecting" when I 1st watched it yrs ago. It's abt 5 diff pregnancies and an adoption story. 1 pregnancy led to an unfortunate miscarriage, another pregnancy was all the horrible sides of being pregnant (being bloated, puffy, constipated n all), another a working n fit mummy to be tt is able to look fab n stay fit n the last pregnancy was everything magical n beautiful. 

So here's the thing. When I 1st found out I was pregnant I was hoping n praying for the fit, fab looking n magical pregnancy. The one u glow n look so radiant n u can literally still be active working out n all. Unfortunately, I didn't get tt. Well I got the radiant n glowy look which everyone comments whenever they see me even when I'm at my cui-est. I havnt ballooned as much as I Thot I would, I'm nt puffy n my appetite is fairly decent. Well maybe cuz I've been sick quite a bit so far. But other than tt... I'm suffering every whr else possible!!! 

-nausea/morning sickness (this I had it bad during the 1st tri. The onli positive spin on this is tt I lost 2kgs. I didn't eat much n I hugged the toilet. It took me a while be4 I succumbed to medication to control this. Nw I'm so thankful it's gone. Well it does come back n haunt me on certain days but it's all manageable. I was so afraid I would be like my mummy. She puked frm day 1 to day 40!!) 

-severe back pains (I realli cannot walk much n I walk like a duck. I've succumbed to muscle rubs which my gynae says it's ok n wearing a back brace which realli doesn't help much. Sleeping is a chore cuz thrs NO comfy position on this planet to deal wif ur back pain. Getting out of bed is such a hassle esp when I pee every 1.5-2hrs. I scream n squirm whenever I hav to flip sides when I sleep. I can't sleep or sit for long cuz my back would hurt so badly but I'm asked to hav ample rest n all. My bed has a mountain of pillows my dogs can play hide n seek in them.) 

-frequent UTIs (don't get me started on those cuz it hurts like a mother bitch. I've always been prone to UTIs since young but nw it's even worse! My bladder actually hurts n somehw it caused my already bad enough back pains to be worse. I hav to pee more frequently to min. My infection which makes sleeping a chore. Cranberry juice n barley water is mostly wat I'm forced to drink these days) 

-growing cramps (these hurt like a mother bitch too esp when my baby wiggles around in my belly. N these can also be worrying when they get too intense so I get stressed out when I get hit by those bad ones. Becuz I'm so small built n it's my 1st pregnancy, my body is still learning to accommodate my baby's growth n over stretching things tt hav nv been stretched be4 so tts a bitch too. Becuz of my cramps I realli can't move around much or work out as much as I realli want to!) 

-low placenta (so my gynae told me I hav a low placenta. Which means no heavy lifting, less movements around, no physical activities. I'm even more paranoid whenever I pee nw esp since a few nites ago. I always make sure to look at the toilet paper twice to check tt thrs no blood.) 

-emotional stresses (Becuz I've been sick n moody n cranky cuz of my ailments, I realli havnt been in the best moods ever. I'm often crying, blaming the whole world  or hating every bit of my pregnancy. Funni hw I'm nt stressing over motherhood since I am such a young mummy but in fact I'm actually soooooo looking forward to it n dyinggggg for this pregnancy to be over soon! My husband is well aware hw much I'm suffering emotionally n physically. At the beginning be4 things got this bad he would joke "so doubt we will hav a 2nd child aye!" Nw frm whr I see it nw... As much as I want a sibling for my child, I'm nt keen on thinking abt tt nw. It was always my plan to hav 2 kids: a boy n a girl. But after this horrific n unmagical experience, I'm surrendering. My mummy thinks it's Becuz my insides are so young n tender tts y it's so hard this time around. But I'm jus nt convinced yet. Thankfully my husband n I are so young so I hav many yrs to reconsider again) 

-home bound (oh I hav decided to put myself on hse arrest till my kid is 4mths. The fear of gg out n getting back pains after walking for a bit scares me. Cuz when tt happens I can't scream n cry. N wat if I walk too much n I start to bleed? N dressing up has been no fun at all. I hav zero interest in doing my hair, make up or wearing nice clothes for nw. I realli salute those YouTube mummys to be who still bother to make the effort even when they are a bloated whale. Cuz I couldn't care less seriously. I jus wanna stay home n be in pjs wif the messiest n unkempt hair ever) 

-spastic legs (I recently discovered I hav wat I call "spastic legs". Thr are certain times whr I jus can't move my legs n all n will scream in excruciating pain!! Then it makes it impossible to lift them too. So I would jus sit thr paralyzed or get my husband to help me up) 

Jus to add to this, I've got zero personal hygiene. If I could I would go wifout showering, brushing my hair or teeth frm nw till I pop!! Wearing my underwear n bottoms are so difficult nw (due to my growing belly n "spastic legs", showering takes twice as long nw n I get gum bleeds when I brush my teeth. So give me credit tt I still manage to these 3 things still. My mummy took me to a mani n pedi sessh tt day n tt ended horribly. So I realise I hav zero patience n tolerance to confine myself to a chair jus to pamper myself. So screw those for nw. Oh n mositurising? Wtf is tt!? I no longer go through my crazy 5 step facial regime anymore or 2 step hair treatment processes either. But thankfully for my hormones my skin has nv been better even when products!! So yay to tt(: 

Plus I hav zero social skills too. Whenever I'm out I jus wanna kill everyone I see!! I used to be a social butterfly, a party animal. Nw I'm such grumps. N majority of humans annoy the hell out of me. 

Hmm I think tts abt it. Which honestly I'm considered lucky to some women. But but wat I DETEST are my back pains n cramps. Whenever those happen I jus want my husband to sock me in the face so hard so I can pass out. Oh wells... Reality bites. Of course thr are glorious parts to this amazing life I'm carrying. I shall get to tt when I'm in a chirpier mood... Which I hope is soon.